Dear Helen and Claire,
As an immigrant, I found some challenges that could be the same for every other immigrant and a frequent topic in movies. However, when you live that in your experience that becomes more than an empathy situation, it is more than "I can imagine what you are feeling."
The language barrier and the cultural differences change you completely! I could say that I am a different person in Spanish than in English. I used to be confident, smart, charming; a nice person to talk with. In English, I always feel like walking a tightrope: Doing my best effort to do not fall and keep smiling at the same time. Then everything is a new game, find an employment that fills your expectations, to be productive, to be a good team player. Furthermore, is my sense that as an immigrant you need to lower your aspirations, is that to be flexible? It has been a problem since I love to dream big.
How to maintain strong if there are no safety places to be? (emotionally speaking a safety place for me is to be in bed with my mom, share a cup of wine with my friend, to have a good conversation with a coworker) . Every day is a battle day, there is no permission to lower your guard. I feel lost and disoriented since my country has traditional support structures, deep family ties, and interdependent relationships. Here in contrast individualism is often prized over family.
Some days, when those little details are blurring my dream, I need to step back and reconsider the whole picture. This picture has people like you two, beautiful ladies. You keep giving, even when I have nothing to give in return. Dark days became clear with your inspirational presence; you give me back the hope and the motivation to keep looking for a brilliant destiny.
You might not know this, but you helped me find happiness in being the person that I really am: a stubborn person, always going forward looking to grow and improve for myself and my family.
Thanks for reminding me the dreams that I didn’t have the courage to see myself.
My brain is fried. I do not want to study anymore! I leave you a small text about women healing women for any leisure minute that you have.
I will keep you posted about the exam.
Many thanks,
Cristina
My grandmother used to say that when a woman felt sad, the best thing to do was to braid her hair; in this way, the pain would be trapped between the hair and could not reach the rest of the body. "It has to be careful that the sadness does not get into the eyes because it would make them rain. It is not good to let it enter our lips because it would force them to say things that were not true. When you feel sad, girl, tie your hair, catch the pain in the skein and let it escape when the north wind hits hard. "
May the melancholy not catches you unprepared, girl, even if your heart is broken or your bones cold because of absence. Do not let it get to you with your loose hair, because it will cascade through the channels that the moon has drawn between your body. Braid your sadness; She said, always braids your sadness.
And tomorrow you wake up with the song of the sparrow you will find it pale and faded between the loom of your hair. "
(Paola Klug)
